


afraid of the things in my brain

by bunkernine (partlycharlie)



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: :), ? - Freeform, ??? - Freeform, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Angst, Crying, Disabled Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, breathing techniques, if you've never heard of square breathing it's So Helpful oh man, leo has a prosthetic leg, sure, why did i write this ? who knows
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2017-07-18
Packaged: 2018-12-03 15:22:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11534973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/partlycharlie/pseuds/bunkernine
Summary: "What's wrong?""Nothing! I'm fine, just tired."(he was not fine. he was tired, though. at least he wasn't lying about that)





	afraid of the things in my brain

**Author's Note:**

> hello friends  
> i was crashing when i wrote this and i decided not to publish it and now i'm publishing it
> 
> disclaimer: not getting any money, not real, not canon, yeah
> 
> hope u enjoy !

Leo flew into the room with a giant smile on his face. Jason stood up from the table next to the door, opening his mouth for a greeting, and was cut off by a whirlwind of hair and oil and waving arms. Leo had forgotten to take the key out of the lock. He didn’t take off his shoes (red Doc Martens that he loved with his life - they were the one thing he always took care of). He pushed his jean jacket (got it from UNIQLO; covered with pins and patches that he sewed on himself) up to his sleeves instead of just taking it off. He didn’t give Jason the normal hug-and-a-kiss (a ritual; helped them calm down after a stressful day). He swept himself into the kitchen, opening cabinets and leaving them open, opening the fridge door and slamming it back closed after five seconds.

Something was wrong.

Still with the overly wide smile painted on his face, Leo started babbling. “Hey love how are you how was your day mine was great I did a lot of work down at the shop and Nyssa was able to help me-” Jason cut him off with a huff, grasping his shoulders and stopping him in the middle of his tirade. The blonde's eyebrows creased - to a casual observer, Leo might’ve looked fine, if not a bit manic. Jason knew better - his eyes looked tired, not crinkled as they usually were despite the grin on his face, shoulders hunched up to his ears.

Something was _wrong_ , and Jason needed to figure out what it was.

The longer Jason stared in concern, the more Leo’s facade seemed to fall. His grin faded, leaving him with a wobbly smile that he only saw when Leo was about to cry. His shoulders slowly fell down, making him seem more fragile than he already was. He took a deep breath - and crumpled.

“Woah, woah, woah,” Jason exclaims, reflexively catching his boyfriend by the armpits and pulling him into a hug. Leo seems to sink into the embrace; he smushes his head into Jason’s neck and lets out a whooshing breath. They stay like that, Jason rocking them back and forth to a rhythm neither of them could hear.

Leo pushes himself away suddenly, straightening himself up with a crack. He breathes - Jason can hear the hitches, which means he’s holding back a sob - and smiles tightly. 

“Sorry about that, I uh- I don’t think I ate enough today? Yeah, that’s probably it, I’ll just make up something real quick, probably just take a quick peek in the fridge because I didn’t really see what was in there the first -” Jason sighs, pressing lips into a thin line.

“Leo.”

He startles - clearly he hadn’t expected Jason to say anything.

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing! I’m fine - just tired.” Leo smiles - again, big enough to fool anyone who didn’t know Leo as well as Jason did. Leo breaks eye contact, walking steadily back to the front door.

“It’s been kind of -” keys out of the lock, into the basket on the shelf, “- a long day, y’know? Nyssa -” jacket pulled off, placed on a hook on the door, “- and don’t get me wrong, I love her to the ends of the earth, but -” shoes unlaced, taken off, placed on the mat next to the table, “holy _shit_ can she be annoying sometimes. Just gets to me a little, y’know?” His voice trails off as he walks through the apartment, taking off his sock - his tool belt - his sweater - his prosthetic - the headband he wore to keep his hair out of his face -

Leo sighs in relief as his leg comes off, setting it onto the floor and slowly sliding down next to it. Jason can hear the sound his hands make sliding down the wall.

He slowly walks towards the shorter man, holding Leo’s asthma pump and a glass of water in his hands. Jason crouches in front of him as Leo shoves his face into his hands.

“I’m sorry,” mumbles Leo, muffled through calloused palms. “I just-”

“You don’t need to explain, love.” Jason sits down fully and set the items aside, pulling Leo into his lap. Leo automatically shifts to accommodate himself; arms are wrapped around necks, legs around waists. He sits, trembling, in his boyfriend’s lap, desperately trying to control his breathing. Jason can feel the hem of his shirt being dampened by tears, and he bites his bottom lip - he can’t afford to cry. Losing control of his emotions wouldn’t help either of them.

Jason sees the signs, and immediately starts speaking in the gentlest voice he can manage. “Hey - hey. Do you remember square breathing? Tap once for yes, twice for no, okay Leo?” One tap, and a small nod pressed into his neck. “Alright. I’m going to count to four - first you breathe in, then you hold, then you breathe out, then you hold. Got it, Leo?” One tap. “Alright, here we go.”

“Breathe- one, two, three, four, hold- one, two, three, four, breathe- one, two, three, four…” Jason continues counting, rubbing a cautious hand gently down Leo’s back until he feels the other’s breath slowing. “Alright, that was awesome. You did so well, Leo, I’m so proud of you. Thank you so much. Hey, can you do me a favor, Leo? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, love, but could you take this for me?” Without stopping the soothing motion of his hand, he reaches out to his side and grabs the water, holding it so that Leo could see it. 

Jason feels hands detach from his neck, and Leo’s head comes into view. Crumpled hair, red eyes, no expression - could be worse, he decides. Leo shifts himself so that he’s leaning on Jason and begins to drink, grabbing the glass of water with both hands and swallowing greedily. Jason swivels himself around with one hand so that his back is facing the wall instead, leaning back to get more comfortable. The sound of the glass clinking catches the blonde’s attention, and he glances down to see Leo scrunching his eyes closed - he always gets a headache immediately after crying.

“Do you want to go settle on the couch so I can get you some Advil, Leo?” One tap. Jason stands up slowly, Leo unraveling his legs as he does so, and helps Leo over to the couch. Leo has a bad habit of leaving his crutches in the bedroom after putting his leg on - usually Jason puts them next to the fridge for when Leo gets home, but today he was too wrapped up in his work and forgot. On their way to the couch, Jason snags the throw blanket from the armchair and wraps it around Leo’s shoulders, eliciting a grateful smile.

Jason settles Leo down onto the couch and places the still half-full water on the coffee table next to him. He dashes to the bathroom - grabs the Advil - the bedroom - grabs two sweaters - the kitchen - grabs a granola bar - and finally back to Leo, letting himself have a moment of glee at the way his socks slide over the wooden floor. He smiles softly at Leo, starting a calming playlist of music on his phone and placing it on the coffee table. Leo sits up, letting Jason tuck himself into the corner of the couch, and pops two of the Advil into his mouth (following through with a gulp of water so he doesn’t choke). Jason offers him a sweater and pulls the other onto himself, smiling softly at the feel of the soft material, knitted by Leo’s _abuela_.

Leo glances up at him, back to the water, the stack of college papers on the table, the granola bar. “I’m sorry.”

“For what, Leo? About what just happened? Leo, you’ll never have to be sorry about that - it has always been my pleasure to know that I can help you, okay? I love you _so much_. You’re so strong, and I’m so proud of you for that.” Leo’s mouth stretches itself into a smile - small, but genuine. The best type.

They lay there for a while, Jason running his fingers through Leo’s hair, and Leo’s hands drawing patterns on Jason’s hip. Eventually, Leo’s hand slows, then stills - his breathing evens out, and Jason presses a kiss onto his forehead.

“I love you,” he whispers fondly, and Leo smiles faintly.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> i have no idea what this writing style was supposed to be ?? anyway
> 
> title from intertwined by dodie clark  
> <3


End file.
